“You will never get enough of that which you don’t need.”
(I cannot remember the source.)
Good morning, friends! To any mothers in the group, a belated “happy mother’s day” to you. And to the rest of you, happy Monday! Let’s get to it.
Years ago I was standing in a seaside shop in southern India bartering with the shop owner over a small piece of fabric art. It was a needlework item, about two feet by three feet, and it displayed 26 blocks with pictures and letters of the English alphabet. And it was in color. Back down the street I had seen a very similar item except that it was mono-color. The current shop owner was bartering high; I was bartering low, just above the cost of the mono-color one. The owner was experienced and might have seen me as a novice. He extolled and clarified all the virtues of the color mat, berating the mono-color one, barely yielding a rupee. When I turned to leave he pushed the “want” angle, to which I replied, “Perhaps, but I don’t need it. The mono-color one will do.” He dropped to my price and I left with his mat.
“Need” and “want”. How many times do we conflate those two words, creating a lifestyle of a constant pursuit of “wants” disguised as “needs”? Perhaps more than any of us would like to admit. Perhaps it’s the “new” this, or the “more of” that, or the “better” something else. I’m not telling you how to live your life but I would ask you to examine it for yourself. Do you have any pursuits that never seem to be satisfied for more than but a moment? When I examine my own life I see how a lifetime drive for “wants” has perversely robbed me of many joys. Moments that could have been wonderful have been overlooked because of unsatisfied wants, even if yesterday’s want had been met with only tomorrow’s want unfulfilled. It is a never-ending chase.
· Perhaps your want is a lifestyle.
· Perhaps your want is resources.
· Perhaps your want is image.
· Perhaps your want is achievement.
· Perhaps your want is something else.
Not every desire and/or goal is negative, not at all. But neither is every one necessary. A key to a healthy life is to be very clear on one’s needs and very selective on one’s wants. Needs are very demanding while wants are very driving. If you become consumed by the pursuit of wants your needs will fight back. Control your wants; walk out if you need to. Essentially, be in control of yourself. You’ll thank yourself soon enough. I'm thankful for you, too! Have a wonderful week.